To Have or Have Not

I’ve come to the conclusion that what I “think I have” and what I “actually have” are really all just in my head.  You know what I mean about the typical complaint of, “I wish I had hair like so-and-so?” When in fact, I DO have hair just not the exact same kind. 🙂

Today’s kick in the rump came when I realized that I was so busy focusing on what I thought to be all the “Have Nots” I failed to be thanking God for all the blessings I “Have.”  I made myself miserable last night while helping Tim with a construction problem because I couldn’t even keep a smile on my face.  The whole time I was helping, I was complaining in my head about the mess and how I wished I could have a clean house, or how I wished I had my own bedroom and bed again, etc.  Oh yes, I was turning into one sour-minded woman.  When Tim left the room to start on another project downstairs, I battled with controlling my emotions and not giving into the flow of tears that wanted release.  Basically, I was wanting to act just as poorly as my one and a half year old who LOVES to throw temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

Now that I’ve confessed, I’ll share some of the big things I’m not going to compare anymore….

Ugh!  My ankles have disappeared…Yes, but at least I can still see my feet and am able to walk around without restrictions!

I’m so afraid of baby girl coming too early and having serious lung issues or not being strong enough to survive outside my womb….God is sovereign in ALL things.  My baby and my boys are NOT mine; they are the Lord’s and therefore I need to rejoice in the moments I do have with them since they are all precious gifts.  Fear is the opposite of faith!

I wish it wouldn’t take so long to finish this house….Look back and remember what it was like living without running water in the kitchen sink for a few weeks, walls unfinished, sleeping piled up in the living room, no washer or dryer, no refrigerator, no heat or air.  Now look around and see all that your hard-working husband has been able to accomplish in his free time when he is not putting in countless hours at the office or church trying to earn money to continue providing for the family and finishing the house!


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